Off White

2007-04-28T17:20:00.000-07:00

I have moved away from this page

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tour party, photo's and such

2006-12-02T15:22:00.000-08:00

thanks to this blogger page's hourlong picture upload waiting period, and the fact that it places shit in a weird willy nilly order, I have loathed even coming back on this thing, but seeing as how I'm going on tour in about a month, if I don't do this tour posting before I leave, well, then I'm just an ass. the pictures have been uploaded for quitye some time, but when they were done, I didn't have the energy to write anything, it's now about 3 months later, and I'm ready, kinda...

ferdinand in missoula MT, this was like day 3 of the tour, and already skot had backed the van into a tree, thus breaking the back door... what that means for you? every time you load gear, it has to be done through the side door, and you have to remove a captains chair. (even when you are loading into a basement in montana that is nothing degrees, and you are playing to 10 uninterested vegan fart machines)
aaaaaah the gay nineties, montana got real fun once the party crashers showed up, total drunk losers! they took me to weird liquor store casinos, and of course, back in time to the "way-gay" nineties!
as we were getting our way-too-fucking-drunk on, this chick left our bonfire and said, "welp. I'm off to bed, if you need anything, come get me" and she scurried up this tree. (keep in mind, it was still not a damn thind degrees outside)
fire sword
these kids pretty much were running this mcdonalds in wyoming, it was rad, it looked like they had been hanging out all day getting free soda refills, I don't think they'd ever seen a philipino before, they were real quiet while ferdi ate.
this is kelly from denver, she's a massage therapist and she wears a fox tail out of the ass of her pants, she wasn't scared of the brown oriental.
when we got to denver it was their first snowfall of the year, people didn't seem to mind, in los angeles if it is sprinkly or moist outside people drive like there are bricks falling from the sky. I had a snowball fight with everyone, people weren't stoked.
I tried to steal a disco ball, thanks booze!
this club was called benders, which was ironic because...
dude, fucking snow for days, this night in perticular was so fucking frightening, we drove through this shit in the middle of the night and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse, we ended up driving super slow because we couldn't see 4 feet in front of the car, meanwhile big rigs are flying by at like 80 mph, it was rad to catch up with them once they crashed, must be nice to be S.O.L. in the blistering cold, hahahaha tweakers!
these are in every state in the US, I never found out what they were, nor do I care, they yare just fucking everywhere
this should be our new uniform
good eatin'!
kansas city was awesome, I was so fucking hammered. people kept leaving their cellphones on the bars/tables, so I would pick em up and look for interesting names in the ol contacts list and just call em up and ask them how they were doing, and if they wanted to "make a party", it all came right back to me like 2 hours later at an actual party when people started calling back asking what the fuck was going on. for some reason people instantly knew it was my drunk ass.
back to denver? these things uploaded all fucky... as soon as I walked in to this party, I ripped my jacket off and swung it around, knocking like 5 full beers to the floor. I had lots of accidents at this one.
look at the ass on this guy! ohio has some of the foxiest lil' people I have ever seen!
now we're in minnesota? I now remember what made me stop updating this shit, fucking thing messes up the order of all my pictures. fuck you blogspot... any-crap, this is shannon and I practicing for our new band SHIT STAINED GLASS.
on our way to lansing michigan, fuck you ron.
hahaha, kansas city again, I got yelled at for doing coke off of this ridiculous picture, this girl came out of her room, "what are you doing, that's my son!" hahahahaha, woops!
oh hey, look who's back in minnesota, shannon and his ol' lady, she made us the most amazing grilled cheeses we've ever seen, it was incredible! good peeps man!
this is us playing in chicago.. just kidding, this is actually us taking forever to load out. we played with a band from athens georgia that night called Cinemechanica, they were fucking unbelievable.
gummo!
this was inside a taco bell in nebraska.
this is lotto ball, he was in festival of dead deer, or boyscouts of annihilation or something, he was really cool and made us an amazing dinner. his band wasn't too shabby either.
ferdi and skot got into a blowout, then in the morning skot discovered this kitty hanging out on ferdi's ass and he got all misty, he said "awww, animals love that stinky guy"
hey, lansing michigan! this town goes richter!
after our show (still in lansing) this dude at the club was like "come party at my pad, we have loads of booze and room and whatever" when I entered the house I saw, 1 stand up galaga machine (pictured) 1 stand up tempest, 1 sit down miss pac man, 1 ez touch trivia machine (the ones they have at bars) in the kitchen, a practice room the size of 6 of our lockout studio, a pipe organ, piles and piles of endless coke, a stormtrooper mask, and of course "loads of booze". this is me gacked out of my head playing galaga as a stormtrooper, apparently I was at this for several hours.
columbus ohio, we played with wolf eyes and john weisse, it was rad, wolf eyes were total rockstars even though they play suitcases and kinda yell every once in a while,.. total dicks, the greatest part is it's kinda like a home town show for them and nobody stuck around to see em, yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeah guys, just because you were in spin 2wice, doesn't mean that this shit will last forever, your fans are already over you. john is always a sweetie though, and his set was amazing, some hick girl told me "well garsh, this dude sounds like an airport in my head" oooooooooooooooooooohhhhhkaye.
how badly do you want to paint over that "L"?
wolf eyes, rocking their suitcases! this is the 20 or so people that stayed
dave was in rochester NY, although he acted like he didn't know me... serious dave, what thee fuck?
pittsburg, fuckin' hell, what an awesome awesome awesome place to play, or live, or whatever, these guys played without their singer (tortured junkie artsy pussy boy guy, nobody understands him) so people in the audience dressed up as the singer and did impressions of him, hahaha funny stuff, until the last song when the actual singer walked in (real cool buddy) the band and the fans jumped him, chick on guitar on the right fucking FLEW at him, smashing him in the head with her guitar, it was fucking amazing, pittsburg doesn't have time to put up with your selfish "I'm a junkie" act. at this same show, we saw a random pittsburg hoser dude, pull out his weenie (only to have it smacked by this singer chick from the other band) and spread his ass, exposing his shitwebs and b-hole. party.
awful house
back to rochester, this is brian posehn's new band, they were called "we-like-pentagram"
hey, back to lansing, seriously FUCK YOU BLOGGER SPOT! van halen mirror though, pretty fucking classy, eh?
new york, LES, alex lobot, PK ripper, and some chick he's putting his fingers inside of.
ramapo NY, there are frightening stories about this place, stories much akin to the one in "the hills have eyes". supposedly, the ramapo mountain people, or the ramapo indians, don't care much for city folk, so the inbreeding is on some fangoria level.. the common attributes shared by the ramapo people are: tiny heads, greyed skin, and webbed fingers! nobody on the trip knew the story but me, so I just stayed in the car while we were driving through, I got out to take this picture though, I needed proof. but yeah, you stay away from them mountain folk, y'here? I was terrified.
did he really say this shit?
this is what ferdi looks like after you throw a yellow pages at him for snoring and grinding his teeth (he still hasn't registered what happened)
back to NY, we played at this club Midway, with unsane, and that dude from the swans, and some dudes from the heroin sheiks/cows this is bleauxdog (thobey) agent mule (trace) and blackout man (john) 3 of my favorite people on earth, we made a good party that night!
during our set (totally packed and awesome, btw) I saw my lil buddy dash pop up in the crowd, I stopped playing and hugged him, much to the chagrin of my bandmates, dash is an old friend, and I couldn't help it, color me fruity!
HAHAHAHAHA baltimore MD, dude, dude was serious, not joking, look at the tights, look at the sandals!
these are real, and I was high as a kite! our buddy in MD's house is fucking filled with weapons and nazi paraphenelia, and books about death.. it's a great place to get fucked up..(?)
back to new york (we actually went back, not bloggers fault) and yeah, this is cheryl wearing ferdi's terrible hat. he wore that fucker the whole tour, sickening, I kept trying to get people to steal it, but it always ended up right back on his head.
so yeah, I'm sure you all heard this story...
this is in massachusets or some shit, like 6 days until halloween, great costume, but dude, hold on, it's coming, 6 days, don't worry, it will come.
hotlanta, GA, these dudes were out of fucking hand! it was like hanging out with doomsday 1999 all over again, I forget the name of their band, but they were super great... but again, the halloween thing, not talking about these guys, they just wear dresses because they are maniacs, but at the show, they had a special "alien/zombie make up booth" and all these people were in shitty devil, and fairy costumes, it was fucking gross.
austin texas, there's our man stockbauer in the background, and my buddy jamie in the front, and of course, captain cute!
houston texas, drugs kill.
this FULL GROWN MAN was kicking it in louisiana, pounding a tall-boy of bud light, and spittin' and a-hollerin', I almost fell over laughing, dude was some hard cheese!
uh oh, new orleans, this is the morning after halloween, in the french quarter at this place cafe dumont (or something, I don't care) yeah, the morning after we were still fucking thrashed, so I started doing massive rails of powdered sugar at the table, a few x marks the spots here and there, the rest of the people dining went from horrified, to hysterical, but I was the one with the candy drips all the way to the next show.
halloweed brah! ferdi in his rape hat costume.. fucking ferdi.
hahaha austin TX, with sean p, and princess powder, "things are getting scientific, I love the laboratory, stem bender boyss" -Jim Stockbauer.
fucking creeps, LBI, keeping it real wrong
in san antonio, we showed up at a club that had 4 stages, so I go "where the hell do we load?" they say, "well, you guys are in the main room, it's a local band, you guys, then my life with the thrill kill cult" excuse me? those guys are still around? apparently they are, and they used my bass rig. a note about these dudes, if I could... they lipsynch everthing, and every song has the terms "69", someting about sex, somthing about snakes, or scales, and of course their own band name over and over and over...
shirts off boyss!
stockbauer really loved our tray table! thanks man!
MLWTTTK fan, numero uno! homeboy shook this thing during their whole boring set, is he having a boring off with the band?
woah, this was "our guy" in san antonio, he was the one that got us all the fake-awake.
breakfast was served
this dude, oh man, mike is his name, MVP for the my life with the thrill kill cult show, he was all about groping the most disgusting couples there, and yelling "play that song from the crow!" dude pulled me out into the center of the crowd more than once, and bought me like 7,000,000 jager bombs (?) fucking party, fuck the captain!
an average my life with the thrill kill cult fan, disgusting,... I don't know, if I was in that band I'd kill myself, I've only typed their name iike 4 times and I am totally exhausted, fuck!
big time.
san antonian poo
look at that graffiti! fucking gorgeous!
emos, playing, blablabla.
another healthy meal
stocky and I after our show, and before HEAPS of mayhem.
"ladel and straw boyss!" - jim stockbauer
hey matt, thanks for the 19 whiskey shots during our set, I almost fell off the stage so many times!
paisley, you have something on yr... hold on, "snork, snooooooort" mmmm, aaah, umm yeah, paisley, lemme tak yr picture, woohoo!
there she is, skotty mah boy!
shelly on paisley, after we got DAS BOOT from some party in austin, and it wasn't even me this time! actually it was nobody, stockbauer's reputation is just so crazy that the people that lived their asked us "who the fuck brought him here?" and we were like "us, that guy rules" and the dude was like "ok man, listen, I don't want any fucking bubble bath situations happening this time, I swear to god!" huh? we found out what that meant much later in the evening, I'm bummed we didn't take it there. we made our own fun at shelly's though.
in lubbock, I was totally fucked and freezing trying to sleep on the floor, I woke up like "fuck this" and went to do my bathroom trick*, but when I opened the bathroom door, this dude was already there, in my place, asleep... fucker
*Bathroom Trick: when you are staying in a town that is devoid of a tempurature, a good thing to do is crash in the bathroom, they have towels(blankets) and towels(pillows) and a heater (the shower running all night) if there is no lock, jam the toe of yr shoe under the door. AWESOME!
captain paisley, of the kids table.
at shelly's house, enjoying smoothies, and veggie wraps (after a lil' yoga)
kriss kross will make ya DRUNK DRUNK!
rachel and her photo face, a deer with a tophat, and paisley, in lubbbbbock
this guy, fuck this guy, dude got this tattoo of 666 on his ass from a girl on pcp, and he also has the word "broken" burned across his side and stomach. last tour when we went with qui he slashed their tires because one of em made a kissy kiss with some dude's EX girlfriend who was lurking around at the after party... dude, if a girl dumps you, don't go to her parties and watch her get with dudes, then get mad at the dudes, they didn't know they were getting into some backwoods maury povich shit, they were just being friendly, and when you have your little hobo friend slash their tires, uh, that spells puhssay!
captain spacefood, riding the snake, in space, under ground, in flagstaff.
fuck you
ME TOO!
here's the 666 kid setting skot's shoe on fire.
hahahahaha, homeboy got dickfaced, best part was he was asleep in the main room of the party, everyone got to play, dude was like fucking comatose!
this is the hundreds guy's studio, we partied our fannies off here, those dudes are fucking sweet like tiger meat!
a shower is a shower, like 3 dudes live here, and dudes are fucking slobs, the house is so fucked up, but the computers, amps, and studio are immaculate, (sounds familiar) priorities boyss! this shower, as gross as it looks, was actually the best one this whole tour, water pressure was tits, and the heat was perfect!
here he is again, our hero, partying in vegas! we tried desperately to get him to come out and play with us, but he was actually this fucking tired... FROM EATING! war is hell, kids.
here is me and ferdi, still in vegas, still givin' er, at like 7 am or some bullshit. Dino's bar, man, place is fucking spooky at that hour.
the hotel we decided to stay at, fucking shit right? when the dude gave me the key, I went to the room, fucking blood all over the matress, broken bottles in the shower, clothes covered in what looked like feces, and 2 crack pipes on the table,.. must have been an awesome party. the dude gave us another room, it was right by this 24 hour episode of cops. I love that I was born here, and I also love that of the whole tour, this was like 1 of the 2 hotels we got, the rest was all couches and awesomeness!
like bargains?
I was already feeling pukey when ferdi decided he needed fried rice, so we went to this donut shop. it was great, millions of flies, who's who in mental health staring at you with open runny sores all over their bodies, and 12 year old fat white trash girls wearing stripper clothes. I couldn't even hold down my pepsi, this drawing helped put things in perspective though, that was cool.
BAKERSFIELD! cocaine jamroom, what the fuck gentlemen?
after hanging out with this dude for HOURS, bro-ing up, and all that ra-ra, fucking dude goes "were you in snake vs wizard?" I was like, "yeah, why?" and he's like "DUDE, you gave me a cat once, it's me, taraq, from SD" I almost shit myself, there I was thinking "this dude is pretty cool, funny guy, awesome peeps" turns out I not only knew him, but he stayed at my old place several times, and I gave him my old cat... weird.
finally in SD, tour over (almost) jorma came along, we all boned, whatever.
back in los angeles, thanks neighbors, we love you too...

armageddon weddin'

2006-08-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

ryan and olivia tied the knot a while back, I actually cried because I'm a big soft cupcake. congrats you crazy kids!
this is a picture of their first dance as a married couple. kinda rules, right?
pearl loves to drink, there was so much fucking wine that.... actually I shouldn't tell that one. but yeah, she's wearing my swim trunks for some odd reason.
things got sexier as the weekend progressed, everyone says seattle is a drag and the weather makes people kill themselves... it makes us people from the south all horned up, that's just how we roar boyss!
this girl and I pretended we were ships captains because the tide was rapidly rising where we sat, splashing and crashing about rather wildly. what was really happening was we were drinking heavily and goofing off, whilst the rocks made my clothes super fucked up.
everyone was complaining that the pot brownies weren't working, and that we should eat more (this is a common thing when you eat pot) so we did, then things basically turned from post wedding bliss, to methadone clinic real fast.
yeah, they aren't working bro, maybe we should make another batch.
pearl and I on the ferry back to seattle proper, (we were on some seattle island thingies that weren't very grunge) it was exciting to get to visit miguel!
look at jason with his camera looking all japanese, awwwwww!
we met this giant dog on the streets of downtown seattle, he had gigantic balls that swung crazily as he trotted down the sidewalk. it was hypnotizing to say the very least
we spent a very long time in this surplus store due to our mind crushing hangovers. that's the weird thing, most people talk of hangovers incapacitating you, with me and my friends it just makes us insane, we just wander around making jokes to ourselves, laughing to ourselves, touching things. it definitely scared the local clientelle (we cleared the place kinda)
hay buddy!
peezer and I met with migzy the masher (left) and he took us to this crazy bar that has like 5,000,000 different beers, we were just hanging out talking when olivias brother (pink shirt) sits next to us all "whu? you gu?" so that called for a celebration, we drank and drank and drank and drank and drank and drank,.. oh, and at some point we discussed the wedding, then we drank more.
then he took us to a friends house, dude had a fuckload of weed and smoked us out, after that I paroused his dvd collection. he had fucking Dr. Giggles AND Shocker just to give you an idea of what we were dealing with.
miguel had a great idea, after we left the weeeeed house we were planning on meeting up with my buddies travis and brandon from doomsday 1999 (R.I.P.) so as we were walking by a goodwill, miguel says "hey we need some kind of costume for this mission, to act as armour for our adventure" and arm ourselves we certainly did.
there's miguel's armour, pearls class 5 armour, and travis n brandon, and brandon's ol lady. (I always forget her name, but damn, one time when crom toured with doomsday, we spent all night trying to "make a party" phil had a bunch of coke, and we had a ton of beers, so we went to this hotel room that brandon's ol lady was staying in, and it was like me, dre, phil, brandon, his ol lady, and one of their seattle friends, some chick,.. anyways, phil and I broke into the coke and were just ramping up like madmen, occasionaly giving this weird seattle girl some, and we were loud as hell, laughing, telling stories, the chick was quiet as fuck, when out of nowhere, brandons ol lady woke up and said to the girl "hey, don't you live around here? you do right? well you can't stay here with us, yeah, that means LEAVE NOW,GO! LEAVE GO HOME" phil and I just looked at eachother silently thinking "holy SHIT" and phil says "d-d-do you want another line for the road?" and she says "no FUCKIT I'M COOL" and we sat in awkward silence for quite a while. then we whispered about it all night while we did an eightball between the 2 of us, then as soon as it was all done, phil crashed like the challenger and began snoring, with me as awake as I have ever been in my lilfe, sitting up by myself for hours going "fuck fuck fuck" until I retired to the shower to sleep)
graffiti in a seattle bathroom, I was impressed
public art on a seattle street, not very impressed
we went to dicks burgers (listen to "my posse's on broadway" by sir mixalot) and we saw this really sad car.. imagine driving this shit?
miguel and peal eating dicks
I ran into vince at some bar, when I walked in a bunch of patrons screamed "can we please party??" at me, NICE!
miguel was fading fast, he ate too much real food, I myself only eat space food so I can hang in any situation.
this dude poured so many shots down my puss that I could barely stand up, I think he's trying to help. (notice my armour? yeah, it was a crop top)
vince got a swans tattoo, my photo doesn't do it justice cos damn it looked nice!
miguel barely able to walk, fireworks all ablaze on his beautiful arms and chest.
kai has a bistro there, who knew?
I forget what his name is, but I was holding on to him every second we drove anywhere. this was our trip to the airport, bye bye seattle, home of grunge!
these are everywhere in the seattle airport, what the fuck?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, that feels good!
this feels even better, welcome to los angeles, faggots!
the same day I got home we had to play a show at the roxy for the bronx CD release party, look at their regular dates! this place is fucking garbage!
we packed the place, all of my jugend friends showed up!
dash showed up too, here he's trying to show me the bruise that the shotgun left on him (we went shooting clay pidgeons the day before)
the bronx played, matt was going berzerk, it was fun!
NICE!
a friend of mine showed me his new dick trick, I put a dog on his face so you can't tell who he is.
ferdi dash and pearl, that's a good party
by this time we were fucking high as a georgia pine.
ferdi and I scored beeeeers and headed to dash's house for a lil dose of some morning sun
rise and shine dickface!

"what do you write fool?"
"well, I write ryan, that's my name sir"
byebye
§

kxlu fundrazor and gay mixer

2006-08-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

jorma eating again, I swear, all this dude ever does is eat fuucking jack in the box, he claims he doesn't but I have an overwhelming amount of proof, are you hearing me drummer boy?
it was tom's birthday, he turned this many (I guess that's 8, or double vulcan something or other) check out the birthday glasses!
scott was doing sound at the echo, I took a terrible picture of him, he's much prettier than my camera says he is, serious.
I started kissing everyone, well not everyone, just the boyss. jackson got it first
this 10 year old was cool enough to make his own Spazz shirt, how the hell has he heard of Spazz? I'm guessing I know his older brother or something.
frankel got the next one, although I don't look very into it, I think it's because frankel is a slut, sooooo... yeah, it meant nothing to him I suppose.
mika miko played, this room made them sound like they were playing vacuum cleaners instead of guitars (which I like)
this guy in the paisley recieved so much verbal abuse from me about his stupid shirt that he actually took it off and gave it to me, I wore it for the rest of the night. I gotta say, it's a tough one to pull off.
this adorable dandy was there, he plays iin that one band with....
this guy! I'm kidding, but I know what you're thinking. like big takeovers?
I bought 2 of these disgusting things because, well, I'm a health nut. I promptly vomited them all over my shoes (and a dollar that the captain made me barf on. why? I don't know, I was busy throwing up)
skot and that guy from los cincos that paints skate art style pictures, hey dude, you aren't in a band anymore, come back to earth, you aren't that important dude. (he was very rude btw)

and last, but certainly not least, earl parker! this dude is completely insane, rule #1 never give this guy your phone number, it's a bummer. ok, I'm gunna make something to eat.

lo doyers with the fuckups

2006-08-12T17:01:00.000-07:00

pearl called the fuckups and they had a couple extra dodger tickets so we said "fuck it" and met em at the illegal beagle, that place is quite a breakdown (p.s. this is most likely the most boring entry to date, but I was just given access to this page again, so.... I mean, the 7 entries I'm uploading at the moment are so super fucked up and packed with fun sauce that you won't even mind this shitty entry of stupid filler, I'm just trying to put something here for the people that check this page, all of you that keep telling me "update already" this is for you I guess, I'll explain the debacle about not having access to this page when I have absolutely nothing left to talk about, which isn't ever probably gunna happen...)

this has to be the most amazing sticker I have ever seen in my entire life, I think about it almost once a day...

this is a collage that someone made of all of the fuckups partying and what-not, if you look hard enough you will find us all, darby imamura, pearl, fill vera, sage, me, meza, etc.... but the best is fill and frodo. I guess while fill was on tour with 16, elijah wood saw em and started following them around the east coast or something. from what everyone says, that guy is totally awesome and fun.

here they are together all buddy buddy and shit, oh, and there's darby on the bottom right smoking a bowl.
here's the infamous Mr. T room at the beagle, pretty intense collection!
here's sage (a.k.a. fuckhead jones, a.k.a. timmy moron,a.k.a. chicken boy,a.k.a. the mayor,a.k.a. the bro-fessor, etc.) in his samurai wig.
this post is super old because "los doyers" lost by a LOT!! it's weird, I guess they are kicking ass again(?)...whatever, I just like the stadium, even though the trough is gone and beers come in rubber bottles and cost like 100 dollars.
andre gets really into eating, that's his kid isiah on the top right, and even further to the right is mike meza's brother chris. chris had just been released from prison for murder (he was in for like 14 years or something), so he was a little intense, when we saw these old cholos in our seats we said "ok, we'll find other ones" which is standard practice at a game, but chris wasn't having it so he threatened to beat up an entire family of gangsters, THEN, these people bought him drinks because he is so terrifying. he's back in prison on some terrorism charge.
this guy looked just like an ugnaught from empire strikes back, I have about 15 of these.
this is the back of skot's head, he's the best dude ever.
nightmare was there, so was mattie murphy. mattie is the DJ at the strip club cheetahs, he used to work at the mitchell brothers O'farrel Theater and hung out with shitheads like hunter s thompson (whom he busted for videotaping strippers, apparently HST said he was doing "research".... yeah guy)
sherrif meza was trying to show me a little brain.
isiah was playing guns or something, that's me holdin a picture of him from a few years ago
this is kasmir trying to make the face he is making in this baby picture. he really doesn't have to try very hard, he looks exactly the same still.
I was playing with this cane-sword and eventually broke it. I suck.
then sage pulled out his ridiculous brass knuckles, who uses these for anything?
peezy-p was eating avacado with a knife,
nightmare reading shame book
meza and cynthia on the car couch, if you are a REAL shithead, this is the thing you wake up on after a night of partying. the illegal beagle is truly a house of sloth, or as phil calls it "never-again land"
countdown to throwing up everywhere......

pow every tuesday

2006-07-17T14:45:00.000-07:00

random post, no order, no real theme to speak of, sorry dude...

2006-07-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

this picture isn't from the same batch as the rest, I just didn't want that juiceboxxx douchebag to have the first pictures in this entry, it would just be wrong,.... so I decided to start on a much more positive note, this was on my driveway when we were leaving to go somewhere (but I forget where because like I said, it's not from this batch) now I should repeat this paragraph 12 times, or wait, why don't you do it, I'm trying to eat.

ok, so here he is, the story is, james and I were given tuesday nights at this new club called la cita, it's awesome but nobody has been there yet because it used to be a ranchero bar, yadda ya, anyhow, before anyone knew we had this shit going on, this dude email's me, telling me "hey, I got this killer act that you gotta try at your club on tuesday, he'll do a 15 minute set, it's like electro/hip hop, it's amazing" well, we not giving a fuck led him to have his "ACT" muscle in a set, (btw, dude has an MTV email address.... what the fuck?) so he did his thing and what can I say, the manager dude??? he was wrong! he failed to mention it was a really pathetic har mar rip-off that was about 1 third "video blog", 1 third "whiteboy puberty angst", and 1 third "my father touched my butthole"... I mean seriously, what do you do when.....
the only people that find your act interesting are the same people that made you what you are? this dude wanted to put this 17 year old hairless boy in his mouth soooooooo bad, everyone could see it... it was creeeeeeeeeeeepy!
uh.... what? relax, the place is still a mexican coke disco in the early afternoon (which is about the time all of it's patrons are falling down on the sidewalk on the way home to their families that they hate) so yeah, it'll be here, no need to write on stuff.
longmont played a set and I was trapped into doing sound and was literally trapped on stage with no way to get out, so I hid behind the turntables and took videos and pictures... david yow apparently smacked him on the forehead like an hour later for saying that "van halen 1 is really slow if you think about it" oh, and he also called him a retard and avoided him all night.
bill h and bill p, both of them "hairs" are living with eachother, making really bad party decisions. billy (on the right) has been MIA ever since he walked into the LA river in the middle of the night just to make us laugh.. but laugh we certainly did, especially when he realized that his brand new cell phone was still in his pocket. I guess he had some nasty cut on his toe, and when the stagnant LA river water hit it, he got some gnarly infection that smells like a babies coffin so... I hope he's ok. oh, and I hope pearl and I laughing was worth all that trouble.
this is my son "prince" he's a freak that has no real cat characteristics other than he's afraid of most everything. oh, he speaks hebrew, did I mention that?
this is the studio where the crom album has been held prisoner for months, when the opportunity to finish it and get the files back arose, I rushed down there, expired tags, no gas and all. the sign was right, I was there, but even when people showed up, I was still the only one "there" if you catch my meaning...
the engineer got their about 45 minutes late, and it was about 5 million degrees outside, the 12 pack I brought for us was getting warm fast, so I set up my camera on auto timer and took this picture, "I am here" y'see, the worst part is after I was "there" for almost an hour, the engineer shows up and discovers that he only has a back door key that doesn't work, so after pacing and saying "fuck" a bunch of times, he called a locksmith and we got in, this part of the story took another hour. don't be jealous, that's just how I roar!
the cool thing is that we recorded everything on frank black's gear so it sounds fantastic, but my attitude was so bad at this point that I was putting beers wherever all "willy nilly" the story get's a lot worse, but I don't wan't to talk shit about anyone (just ask me at a bar or something)
here's some other guy, unrelated to my bitch-craft, he was mixing shit with me, I kept taking over and doing hotkeys for things I wanted him to do, he didn't understand and was a little upset at my bossy ways, but I just wanted to get the fuck outa there.
more piles of gear worth millions of dollars, it's disgusting actually.
this is cool, it's a plate reverb, a real metal plate that is bussed from the mixing board.
this is the only control on it, a knob that puts the plate closer or farther away, so as to adjust the decay (i'm a fucking nerd)
a moog liberation, I'm sure they use the shit out of this thing with the kelly clarkson and DC talk shit they work on there (not kidding, that's their bread and butter dude, overproduced music for christian teenage girls that cannot appreciate the gear-headliness that went in to the recording, that live in ohimahamabraska)
this is james brown, he is wearing a grammy nomination around his neck, I took several pictures of me with my dick in his mouth, now I "feel good"!
the next day we went to a friends birthday party, it was like 400 billion degrees outside, so I kicked it in the corner by all these trophies and made myself about 90 vodka drinks
the birthday girl got kissed into the pool, I hope her dress wasn't ruined, it's a really nice one.
I put my hat on her cat, this cat, I swear, he has the best disposition of any cat I've ever seen, I wanted to steal him so he could come over and teach my cat how to fucking get over himself.
then I won an emmy for being the most drunk man on earth, this is between a smile and an owwy face, the wing on this thing cut my lip because I was hurrying to take the picture so nobody saw. playing with these awards was a real "no-no" from what I was told, so, instant karma I suppose.
at kevin's house he has all of those posters from jabberjaw and elsewhere that you always wanted when you went to shows, he has litterally all of them, it sucks.
then I met this dog, he just ran in the back yard without any warning, no owners behind him, he was really fun. I hate it when I shave all of the shitty growth off of my face, it makes my face look like it has AIDS or something, right?
I was on ecstacy and a whole bunch of other shit that I won't get into, but yeah, these flowers were grossing me out, so I went in the house to see what kevin and toni were up to.
pearl toni and clementine, getting all pretty an shit.
this dude was in the movie suburbia, he was (and still is) the guy with the fake leg, remember his line about agent orange in that movie? he is a really nice guy, but he doesn't get fucked up so he left our lil' party with a quickness
more at that recording studio, seriously, frank black's gear, a high end recording studio,sounds great right??? but when you look around at shit you see things of this nature, seriously, click on this picture and read the trophy, eeeeeeeeeew!
this is just the songlist for the album we are wrapping up, it's this plus samples over samples with other samples bleeding through and fading out between EVERY fucking song, there's a reason this record is taking so long, trust me though, it's worth it, I swear.
this is "joe" recording phil, he was doing vocals for "battle axe butt cherry" see? funny already, right?
this is why I don't have a job at a recording studio, you have to know how to work these thingies, these things are a lame way to cover up a shitty performance, but everyone uses em so, y'know...
more bummer shit at the studio, this is probably the worst painting I have ever seen in my life, seriously dude, letterbox? widescreen? what are you trying to say? you like japanese movies about birds?
this was from the 4th, pearl will force me to go to any party that has a pool, this is an infinity pool, I never went in.
then we wen't to miguel's going away fiesta, we watched sage do his anual "luge of death" look for it on youtube, search sage jones 4th of july street luge.... pearl wore her "drug rug" bye miguel!
I took this picture with a blinding hangover, I didn't know it was this good. album cover material much?
this is the view from my studio downtown.
this is the 2nd la cita night, I took mushrooms by myself and freaked the fuck out so bad that I had to hide behind the turntables and change records like a was a midget because I didn't want anyone to look at me (not like anyone was there, like promoting?)
then we left and went to ryans, where I grabbed his guns and did a photoshoot with em.
when the bread grew a face I knew it was time to leave, I thought it was just the mushrooms but you can see it too right? fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! why does ryan have bread in a cup exposed to air? anyways....

made a preview for our dvd thingy

2006-07-01T00:35:00.000-07:00

not so exciting night

2006-06-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

regardless of how little went on, I still threw up like 3 times.
zane was workin', and you know who just LOVES a workin' man? that's right!
cousin was there with sean and mia and a few other folks, fuckin' cousin dude, I forgot his real name, but he's taken to calling himself cousin almost exclusively these days, so I don't need to know it then right? even though I've known him for years?
christian was there, that made things better, he's always a good sign
then sean listened to me go "BLABLABLABLABLABLALBALBALABLBALBALBA look how funny I am BLABLABLABLABLABLABLA...."
then I threw up again and went home.
why did I post this one?
I'm a retarded.
(www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com)

blowing it dude!

2006-06-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

the gear is loaded, time to also get loaded
these guys played, the dawds, members of new collapse, I liked em
this dude danced to yikes (they played on the floor though) but yeah, he ended up at the after party and he had this disgusting bottle of cherry lavender vodka or something like that on him, it was soooooooooooo gross, he tried to give it to everyone and everyone turned him down.
these guys were all "hey play some guitar" so I did, then they danced
after party, it's punk#2 with clementine, they loooove to smoke!
then david was telling david a bunch of shit
arty passed out like this on the porch, with this face on, creepy right?
john, skot, and this chick (?) and me did cool shit in the potty

then as the sun came up, tom and this korean dude and me lost our minds and bought like 4 more 12 packs or something stupid, we were shotgunning beers and vomiting and, oh man, it was lame, tom actually said (and it was the quote of the night) "man, this is embarrassing!" this was his engine, I have lots of awesome video footage.
bill h dead witch floats in water cos he's a witch, here's him in a stupid cowboy hat (couldn't find the pointy witch one? witch!)
fucking market aka: welcome to the phouc shooooop!
then ryan saved me from the afterparty-morning of shame, and took me to dave and tania's bbq, I hadn't slept and was smashed when I arrived.
the gentlemens drinking club, their trophies, and gary.
gabe showed up, so I smoked him out with hash, it was really good, but I'm used to the shit, gabe wasn't I guess.
jacuzzi floozies
gabe was still knocked out so dave put the dildo trophy under his nuts
there's becket's red rocket
more dick stuff, whale cock vs red cock (the cock on the left is actually a big rubbery dildo replica of a whale dick)
more of the salamander-gabe grabbing creatures that were on his "level"
clyde likes meat and.... meat
gabe..... seriously, what the hell?
chip came and we emptied a keg so he bought another one (keep in mind, I still hadn't slept)
so I kissed the lady friend g'night
walked into the backyard
and fell asleep
what a piece of shit, huh?
good night

don't take poison

2006-06-26T15:48:00.000-07:00

my brother graduated from high school, so we went to his thingy, then he took my camera in the potty and got all "myspace"
the black pine dudes live above our studio, we got loaded a lil' at their place, then I played the dudes nord till they had to go.
then I went to the bar and threw coke at my face
some bike dude from toronto who knows a bunch of weird people I know... weird right? as dash said to me "the world is getting SMAAAALLLLEEEEERRRRRR" it's weird
evan made out with this punk chick for a while, like gross make-out where you feel involved in a bad way? it was gross.
then she accosted that weird old leather dude (from before) about being soaked. "you're not riding in my car unless you have a towel dad, got it?"
then at some party this guy and I pretty much drained some keg by ourselves, everyone else was in the kitchen drinking fruity vodkas and sangria, yuck. I think I told this dude he could be in some sonic youthy/dinosaur juniory/steve martiny band from back in the day, and he looked at me like this..

then utility-kilt guy got all bummer on everyone, these people kicked everyone out but skot and I (?) and they had us help them kick people out, we thought they wanted to party, but they just started talking quietly about boring shit in a real civilized manner, so we went to the lawn with all the outcasts.
this chick grabbed that dude that was gunna go in-on some party with us, thank god for that! I don't know what she's doing right here, but I don't like it.
then skot and I went to the punkhouse and took mushrooms at 8am (?) I wasn't feeling the germs during my trip, but I liked wearing the germs. big deal... moving on
this is how skot looked when the shit was hitting me hard, I swear, I don't know how my camera did this, did I do this? fuck! trip out!
NEVER listen to this record on mushrooms, the sun city girls can be rough!
we left for the liquor store at around 11am, more beer, and other shit (I think I bought some lame hat maybe?) and yeah, that wasn't fun, I was terrified of everything, skot was doing pretty so-so.
then my trip came full circle when the guy that was telling my brain what to do showed me some "interesting cans" he was dumpster diving, I think I ran away from him, not sure though.
back at the punkhouse a punk came out and was punking my punk ass. no, he was pretty helpful actually, I think because his hair is purple.
at this point I was "becoming thought" or something equally lame. I kept thinking I smelled like shit, and was soaking wet, neither of which was true.
we decided to walk to the park, pearl said "ooooh look at that, neat huh?" (she just got there with penny, they weren't on any of the mushroom cocaine, beer hash) but anyways, this confused me.
penny wore my blue blockers in the park, I talked to my brother on the phone and he said "mom want's to know if you are coming to the special olympics today with us" I screamed and hung up.
then skot went to bed, and pearl was excited that I took lots of drugs and didn't sleep and was hallucinating and blablabla, so she paraded me around town all day. first stop, ryan and olivias house, this is the phone/ponytail room.
olivia and penny chilled on the ramp ryan and I built while I freaked out on pearls feet.
ryan handed me some wine from upstairs.
it got all over me, how many drinks do I need?
then we went to a party that patterson and karen threw at this really nice house, I could only take this one picture, I was barely hanging on.

this coming tuesday

2006-06-22T15:57:00.000-07:00

longmont potion castle, me, xtian, dredels, james this coming tuesday
should be great!

derrick's birthday, no coke!

2006-06-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

it was derricks birthday, jeff was in town from new york to play some shows, and some other shit, it was a good party, I like highland park a lot, here's jeff, his gross hat, and sean out in the yard.
pearl, the birthday boy derrick (in some weird safari outfit) and that weird bearded guy, all 3 of em superphotogenictastic!
jeff and scoli and jeff's hat talking about gross hats together.
jade and tiffany looking down on me,... why was I born?!
some early 80's comedian(?) and that chick from the "california" gossip band.
red ass jeff and his gross hat, and screwdriver stuff.
greg in a dead moon shirt, classy shit eh?

dix, dix dix, the nuuumber of the beast!

2006-06-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

here I am, hard at work in the office, oh look, I'm drinking smart juice!
here's gabe helping (look in his hands) and will right behind him, y'see, we played this show on june 6 2006 (666, duh) with high on fire, oxbow, indian jewelry, longmont potion castle, it was fun, lots of people came, I got wasted and kicked out, the end.. oh and here's some pictures
just walked in, boring, don't know why I put this one up.
vince and brady were there, they weren't as drunk as me.
I think this is some black metal band called nachmystium, I'm not sure though, I was backstage getting drunk
mike and willow were hanging out in back, hey guys, need a beer?
this was oxbow (from backstage) I don't think eugene liked me taking pictures of him from back there. he was really nice though, even after telling the audience "you think I'm not dangerous cos I don't have a weapon? just wait!" then he started beating off through his shorts.
I gave gabe my camera for the rest of the night (I had to get ready to play and stuff)) and yeah, he pocketed this one I think, I don't know, I do know he took some great pictures of the rest of the night
nightmare was there, he didn't kill anyone that night though, slippin' right?
longmont slaying
longmont even slays from behind, see?
here's when we got onstage, we dressed in yellow and black casual wear because of our stryper cover intro, get it, 666? get it yet? fuck you then bitch!
here's phil "the pain" vera, rocking the professor's balls off!
here we are, controlling the pit
a moment of silence
then WOW!
dance bitches!
this dude was great, he was seizuring against the wall, fighting the pukeys, and this dude in the hat's freaking out "someone help him, what's happening?" I just took a picture and he goes "dude, do you know this dude? do you know what we should do?" I said "fuck no!
this is the reason I got kicked out, lots of dick pictures with chicks, apparently big fat bouncers frown on this shit, so you've been warned buddy.
billy and robbie helping me stay alive
ceaser praying there's coke at the next party...
whaddya know? seeing monica made me kick myself out of the party.
saviours dudes were there too, would have maybe been fun, I don't know, I needed rest, too much boozin'
bye.

brandon's thingie

2006-06-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

time to start my day, I can't tell you how many times I've almost fallen down these fuckers.

had to stop by the barbarian studio to pick up some files for the record, this is the wall of past shows, some pretty impressive stuff on here, I'm proud mijo.
alex was making these banners, then him and malik got me really stoned and I left thinking I was in the way... I think that's a great way to get people out of your hair, if someone visits you when you are working on stuff by yourself, roll a joint, smoke it with them, then go about your work in silence. the intruder will then go "so, ok, well, I guess I should get out of here, um, and ok, so yeah, have a good day, and yeah, I will call you about that thing" and as soon as they get out the door they think "dude, was I being weird? am I a dick? fuck!"
then I had to do some 400 blowing, we had a lot of visitors that day, but I didn't bother them with flashes.

at brandon's store he had an art show, I don't like much of anything these days, but a unicorn in jail totally works for me, all unicorns should be jailed so they don't end up in so many jokes/songs/movies/etc...
aaron was there, he's the one that gave me the necklace that says "stupid" it belonged to his cat (who was named stupid, stupid!) I guess he got hit by a car and killed, so one night aaron was super drunk and pulled it out of his pocket, almost crying, and gave me the collar saying "I wan't you to have this" so don't be surprised if you ask me jokingly where I got that necklace and I tell you to fuck off.
aaron and ferdi came dressed as me, lots of people are pulling my "clean look" these days. your welcome.
this is ethan, he took my camera all night and was rudely taking pictures of folks at this thing, he was very zoom and flash happy, I was stoked. apparently he did a track with flea and snoop dog (no joke)
chris came dressed in a tux, he didn't know it was a casual thing.
my korean friend sage was there, he was going A.U.F.
this guy, what is up with this guy? I told him much later in the evening "dude, there are people photo-hunting you, I've seen you 2wice in one magazine and..." before I could finish, he hugged me, kissed my armpit and walked away with three drinks... what the fuck?
jimmy was there too, where the hell has he been right? well you can always enjoy him on various car commercials (his music that is) he's become quite the succesful lil' bleep bloop dude.
this thingwas there too, what the hell is this?
izzy? no, just some weird gypsy asshole.
this dude was there (I always forget his name) he's pretty fun until chicks roll up, then he puts on his creep face, it's a bummer, but I still like the guy.
we went to the shortstop later because nobody goes there anymore, "nightmare" met up with us, here's him in his mellow "jordan" mode.
me and some friends spent lots of time hanging out by the toilet, it smelled so good, look at aaron enjoying that rich aroma!
tamale guy was pushing his wares on the people, once I bought one outside the lil' joy, ate it, and promptly barfed it back up right in front of him. woops.
I found "the creature" asleep on her car when I left the bar, she's fun like that.

patterson beckwith

2006-06-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

I got some rocco's pizza again yesterday, I bought a slice for my genitals too.

Hans came over to our place and picked us up, he's so photogenic, it was hard to decide which pictures of him to keep (I'm not into having 1,000 pictures of someone elses dog on my camera, it makes me feel like some bestial pedophile or something, hans is only like 7 ,...that's just lame) unfortunately for me, hans is terrified of cameras. he learned the sound that my camera makes when it turns on, so I couldn't even sneak attack him. I chose this one because he's showing me some pink.

this is where I fought the one armed swordsman, he's a total dick.
got yr del taco? got yr coonskin cap? got yr tribal? killer bro!
patterson's show was amazing, it was mostly these things, these smoke bubble things that he lit all crazy, they are amazing and you totally need one in your living room.... oh yeah, there's ones for the bedroom too, more on that later though.
this is upstairs
I was thinking about doing art that was just taking shitty pictures of other peoples art, just, y'know, just to be extremely lame and lazy and and what-not, but aside from patterson's stuff, there wasn't much art that I felt like taking "peekchers" of, so I thought I would go out and take "peechars" of stuff that wasn't art, but was going to pretend was art made up by people I invented, I was very dissappointed when this thing crossed my path while I was snooping around behind the building, totally staged, I think someone was hip to my little scheme...
this one is my first, totally real, fake, photo of imaginary art.
scott martin: disgust
digital image on emulsion
of
ray danielson: untitled (2003)
mixed media

this guy from public access was there, I've seen his show before, I think the guy is psychotic... the thing about public access people is they need friends, so, look at the ground when they are in the same room as you, you'll thank me later.
I got really lost looking for the downstairs area, this was all I saw for about 45 minutes.
and this, I was really starting to panic, I even stopped doing my art!
patterson's stuff was everywhere in that building, and everything is really good, it was funny though, just when you think "man, he's prolific" you find boxes and boxes of rolls of posters of stuff he's done that you've never seen... he's a machine!
this one rules, the bubble on the left has just popped and the smoke is still in the shape of the bubble so at first glance you think it's just another bubble...see?
I was safe in pattersons area so...
scott martin: the way in which we speak
digital image on emultion
of
jeremy kaufman: the danger of love
mixed media
this piece was tucked away somewhere, I don't know who's it was but I think was titled, "heart attack barf"
scott martin: dropper
digital image on emultion
of
jan whimmert: body of sister
mixed media
malik is so photogenic that I sneak attacked him with a shaking camera to see if I could catch a rare glimpse of him not looking pretty, it doesn't work, the guy is just pretty, the end, drop it!
this is how I was shaking the afformentioned camera, check it out, you don't have a longmont potion castle shirt, do you?
CALLAGHAN!
betty was drinking wine out of styrofoam (eeeeew)
hey, it's whats-her-name!
mmmmmmmmm!
I want this one, I've made up my mind!
although XO PAT is fucking brilliant too, fuck these decisions!
another attempt on malik, I end up looking bad, what is it with this guy?
"with this one I was thinking "adventure" sort of a place where you can get away, y'know?"
look at everyones shirts, weird right?
no need to fire this guy up, we were doing just fine!

another self portrait
I kinda want this one
alex has the right idea as far as pants go
janet jackson was there when we left.

d-day 06 continued

2006-06-02T16:07:00.002-07:00

hey pearl, whaddya say I blow off work and we go to disneyland?
lets get really stoned first though, kay?
look, a mallard, this is that lake/moat that surrounds tom sawyers island (from the rush song) someone died in these waters. apparently these dudes stayed on the island after the park closed and when the employee people left, these dumbshits tried to swim accross to the dock even though they couldn't swim... hey, they are called canoes you guys, they keep em on the island...wow!

still my favorite ride here, fuck you if you think I'm a 10 year old

the best part of the ride, dude on dude shit!
this is your favorite ride, a big wet marble that does nothing1997 walked by, he's still wearing those pants

you disgust me thompson family
hey pearl, what do you think of how disneyland painted everything bronze? isn't bronze third place?
this ride is FUUUUUN!
when they take the cars out of the rides so you can take pictures on them, I don't think they take into account that they get blistering hot in the california heat, I don't know how pearl is doing this. as an homage to disneys vision I now walk around burning children with lit cigarettes.
california adventure, pearl is inside the sign that marks off the days attendance.
take that boss!
to me this looked like a box full of wacky cocks so naturally I had to show em my "finishing move"
this is a sign above the girls bathroom on main street, cool right?
pearl didn't even try and rescue her twin brother from that trippy snake.
wrap it up, I'll take it!
after this long clackity climb, nothing, no drop, no payoff, this place is built backwards.
not much to say about this one really, I just took it because I like how his feet don't even come close to touching the ground, you know how I am when it comes to man-babies.
look at this kids face paint! genius!
in what order did I upload these pictures? we only went on this boring ride once, I swear!
weeeeeeeeeee!
the happiest place on earth(s bar)!
lets get out of the city pearl, lets go all the way to anaheim to be down the street from our house....what?
mickey mouse makes a wicked cocktail
dont get it? no? look at what she's doing, then look behind her at the sign. top right? yeah? it's called art, DICK!
she made me laugh all GD day, she was shaking water everywhere going "eeeeeaheeeeuuuuu" there were a bunch of people around.
I guess at disneyland it's totally cool to smoke weed anywhere now, 420 brah! this dude was shaka's for daaays brah.
dude behind us rode alone, dude in front of us rode alone, oh, and someone recently died on this ride. the magic of disney! I felt like a widdle kid again
pearl likes to party with skulls and spikes, she's pretty punk, dude...
she also likes to drink and drive a lot, I think that's the glue that keeps us together.
all that time I could have been here, looks exciting huh?

boring is falling, falling like raaaaain!

2006-06-02T15:43:00.000-07:00

and then david said to the skateboard midget, "I poop shit boobs you vaginacake!" see? here's a picture of him pooping shit boobs.
only reason I wen't to see the xmen movie was because the word MEN was in the title, all these other people are fucking neeeeeeeeeerds!
look out kids it's the mexican wolverine! this guy was waaaay better than the movie, and I really liked it.
karen did too, but she wanted to do that hipster thing of not liking what you like, and liking whatever you don't. have you ever played that game at a show? it's easy, you just say "hey do you like that band _____?" and depending on the persons reaction, no matter what you really think, just disagree, it makes you look awesome and smart, doug is really good at this one.
oh man, this rocco's pizza place by my house is INSANE good, I want to fuck all of their pizzas in half (except the one with peas on it, seriously guys, c'mon, peas?)
these are fucking everywhere in LA right now, good on ya martin, we've got some funny surprises for you all at that show, crom will deliver the goods and then some!
michael can look so chinese at times it's almost racism folded inside out, this is hands down the worst picture of him ever, thankyouuuuuuuuuu.
karen and patterson named their male cat "baby lady" I would say that's abuse, wouldn't you?

d-day 06

2006-06-01T10:13:00.000-07:00

more on this later, but for now check out our scores. are boys better than girls? I don't know...

my first blows show

2006-05-30T22:42:00.000-07:00

we parked behind this car when we went shopping on monday, I of course was wearing a white shirt with white pants (cos u gotta match) and I saw the owners of this vehicle, 2 lumbering men with shaved heads covered with various national socialist tattoo's, they shot me some pretty confused looks as I walked past them with my 2 friends (neither of them white)
here we were at rico's studio, he was putting the finishing touches on my uniform, gotta say, it looks gooooooood on me! thanx u guys!
here's tweedy at sound check, keith got in the picture probably because, if he wasn't busy helping people load gear or going through a song, he was pacing at breakneck speeds all across the clubs floor.
here's keith soundchecking with the bronx, they were going through "police story" I could have shit my pants it was so good!
mike aka jimmy (?) loading shit backstage

here's the bronx again soundchecking with yet another special guest, gilby from guns n roses.
think about life getting their shit together for the show, I liked them allot, they are from montreal.
austin likes when people sleep in bars, look at that smile!
kevin and keith DJ'ed (quite well I might add) and yeah, good stuff.
selina was walking around with her mug upside down unbeknownst to her, it was really funny.
jorma after the show turning on some sexy.
toys that kill played last, here's todd singing something with his mouth.
here's me during our set, long hair much? jesus...
this one reminds me of that samhain final descent album cover, only there's weird shimmery shiny shit behind me.

here's my arm stripes catching the flash, they are made of reflective material.

here's a clip of the show
toni partied harder than everyone, here she is being helped off the clubs dirty floor (peezy-p I guess hit the floor too and fucked up her thumb, awww)
here's rico muthafuhckin' fuhlayshin.
toni was helping my blind friend "make a party"
austin and aaron not arguing about stupid shit, wow!
greg was noodling around on the guitar before he started juggling tennis balls in the kitchen (no joke)
kevin made us dinner, what a sweetie!
skot and I are relieved that the show is over, and that it went well, the end.

chinatown art run

2006-05-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

anj is our buddy from london, she had an art show in chinatown, it was good, her paintings are fantastic, she is currently missing
another picture of me peeing, honestly, I take 1 of these in every bathroom I use, I just don't post em all cos some of em are a little on the graphic side.
tom was there, he likes free tequila as much as the next guy
in the basement of this gallery a band played while some "artist" passed around free cocaine..... BORING!
brandon was at the afterparty, he's a big ol' sweetheart.
brandon took a picture of doug and I, apparently he's never used a digital camera before.
the party was 2 floors of fun, I never dig DJ's but damn, these DFA dudes were killing it!
here's me and the door guy at the mountain bar, he sneaks me in no matter how long the line is.
is this where that clothing line name came from?
josh won ballsiest pants decision that night.
people come from all over the earth to throw coins in this fountain in exchange for a wish, and every night at about 9 some chinese dude goes into the fountain in galoshes and takes all the money, he is a dream stealing asshole, so a very drunk p-dawg paid a very "proper" respect to him.
then her, patterson and karen rode kiddie rides
these 2 douches that dressed like they were in the movie easy rider, disco danced like goofballs all night so naturally anj and pearl made fun of them.
the best picture ever taken of our anj.
pearl and I "berzerking".
here's anj squashing the life out of poor peezar chung
colby is the quintessential stoner and I don't even know if he smokes pot.
martin showed up and for the first time EVER he didn't grab my ass or say anything homoerotic to me.
pearlo was fucking waaaaasted, apparently her "eyes were burning" so she started zombie walking to the car without telling me, nice!
penny taking a piss at like 3am, look at her face, hahahaha, goodnight!

crommin' it up me arse

2006-05-30T21:58:00.000-07:00

we are planning something ridiculous for the 6/6/06 show with high on fire, can you guess why this man is laughing?
told you

phil drank about 7million beers that night during practice, I have videos of him doing a really fucked up spin dance, singing everything he says to the tune of some shitty hall n oats song, and coming out of those lame static x pods eating chips, might not seem funny to you, but his delivery is amazing, just look at that face!

we afterparty-mitzvahd at the little joy bar/cocaine distro center, when the bar closed everyone got sad.... until I walked everyone to my car and performed a beeracle! everyone drinks free at the son-of-a-bitch-mobile rolling tavern!
justin and amity didn't want beer, what is up with that?

then jason threw up DRY PRINGLES!!! he is truly not of this earth
hey beth, you know how you ruin everything? could you possibly ruin this photo I am trying to sneak of this psycho fruitcake with war makeup and a mesh shirt? you can? awesome!
Ana is unfuckwithable
skot, you are spilling, take a sip or hold it straight!
greg, jon, amity, justin, evan, skot, some chick that I was reaaaally rude to, and the evil dead witch
billy, what are you doing? billy? billy? billy!
becky was tired so she slept with her chin on the top of my car
hi evan!
shhhhhh, the boys are trying to sleep.
me, and amity, and drugs, and 5am, and alcohol, and no music.

my hair got caught in the ceiling fan pull chain thing, photo op! hey, mr. talbot, why do you put your empties on the curtains? makes no sense...

look out weekend!

2006-05-26T17:50:00.000-07:00

here I cum! (the white pants are clean, oh yeah!)

I only barfed like 4 times

2006-05-25T16:58:00.000-07:00

bitches be tired n shit.

I have millions of these, I should probably animate them.

jason and heather are doing "the hungry"

arty contemplates his sandwich

wasn't this guy in "a mighty wind"? wasn't that a ketchup stain on his shirt? isn't old age disgusting?

gettin in shape to prepare for....

TIME TRAVEL

this is one you gotta zoom in on, I guess we did a couple late night runs before getting home, this is after I wiped and blew off my passenger seat before driving to work with a burning hangover... bad news...

jorma and his lady, fuckin' eating AGAIN! I'm gunna start a series of these things

went to the chacha (or as I've heard some people call it, the cha cha cha cha cha) saw ron, he doesn't like bright lights, much like his gremlin friends

sean and mia and a few other pooples were there, drinking, yelling, y'know, the usual bar shit.

dave and tania were there, I guess there was a birthday party for a friend of theirs going on, I don't know about any of that, I do know that dave has a bladder that makes peepee, and he fired some at the wall in an attempt to smash the fucker down, see, look where tania is pointing, see? I kept staring at that ligtning bolt sticker on the wall, thinking of ways I would better that design.

this dude was there, I always forget his name, but I know he's like barely 21 and plays with members of psychic TV and he knows his shit better than most 40 year olds, I helped him put on that grass wig..

his thing was "take pictures of me with pretty girls wearing this" and the first person he ran up to was tania, I don't like when single dudes act like, well, single dudes in bars, especially with people I consider friends, so I walked away and he soon followed.

maus and her friend were there, they rule, good kids, good at making party.

look at mike, awwww, g'night mike, gnight cousin rudy, time for me to barf all the way home...I should see a fucking doctor, this is getting ridiculous

practice on a school night goes "woops"!

2006-05-24T11:23:00.000-07:00

took this at lunch, it's los angeles, you hate it.

fuckin' guy, I'm driving to practice, he's all "roll down yr window" so I did, he says "you have 10 minutes? follow me to little pedros" and of course I didn't have any free time to spare, but I went anyway.

damian works there in the daytime, who knew?

this bathroom painting brings back horrible, horrible memories

this was waiting for me when I got out of the potty

this peckerwood was talking smackles, so I squashed a grape!

she's pooped, shhh! all that scratching lottery tickets has her plum tuckered out. goodnight mom.

skot bought a du rag and wore it for a good 4 hours, I was calling it his "don't" rag.

round 1 of the punk house, when we got there, these 2 old punks were watching soft-porn, it was awesome, this 70 year old man dropped trou and we saw his big scary grey man muff.

it's bad enough when your band opens with a cover of madness "house of fun", the top hat thing, yeah that sucks too, but dude with the fake primus bass...

put on some fucking shoes dude!

scott was there making some uncomfortable conversation, haven't seen this guy in forever.

evan on the other hand, I think I see him waaaay too much.

this band dressed up like ninjas, and had this woman just stand 3 steps behind them occasionaly banging a gong. is this funny, sad, or just plain lame (remember, the band is dressed up like ninjas)

this one is a fucking bummer, too bad you weren't there, homeboy on the bottom right came in with that black dude at the bar, he was throwing around the n-word, and saying things like "yo homie, deez biatches be off the cheezy for sheezy" it was the most embarrassing thing I've seen in a while.

this dude in the scott sandwich gave us a discount at sam ash on our new GK bass head, thanx dude!

ferdi's car was stoney

fucking gross, shame on you spaceworld!

shame on me too

psychobilly? woah, talk about time travelling!

someone who will remain nameless has an awesome piss bottle collection at the side of his bed, yummy!

jorma and this chick were not down for our loud ruckussing off so we wen't to another room and well, goodnight kinda, not really

sunday, pagan rights

2006-05-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

hello sad foot....

hello happy foot.

don't go in there, it's haunted!

this what my gas situation looks like on average.

started filming the "pagan rights" movie with the barbarians, guess who wasn't exactly excited about his costume?

here's a bunch of us waiting for the crew to start filming, most of these people are in that band "discount cruise to hell" they are funny peeps

andy was there, he's adorable

here's what the camera was seeing at that point, he got a crapload of angles, one of which was spinning in the middle of a weird drum circle, haven't seen the footage, it's probably good cos jim filmed it.

jade is about to do her tarot card scene, all I had to do was play guitar and get stoned.

this is the best thing about highland park, this and the fact that mike lives there

eatyourownshit.com

2006-05-22T17:49:00.000-07:00

mike came over in the morning, he's a different mike, he does not live in highland park

this is some mural that I see on the way to my studio, I caught her on an off day, but usually the local wandering crackheads draw really lame looking tits on her. bummer

static x, oh brother, these goofballs always leave really weird janky shit around our studio, once I got all these james bond vhs tapes that were recorded off of TV, and another time I got this E.T. set of stationary figures that play the E.T. themesong. I have no idea what this piece of shit is, but it's taking up a buttload of space.

this crap belongs to them too, I think they must have come out of these things on stage, like gothic brundle fly's or something lame.

this is the only way whittier should be seen, through the window of a car while driving through as fast as u can. seriously, fuck this place!

I had to go to my brothers birthday party in diamond bar, fucking diamond bar? why? dude, you are sooo lucky that I love you cos I will not ever make this drive again for anyone else no matter what the circumstances are, dude, are you hearing me?

I know I will never do it, so please, somebody else, put question marks at the end of these signs, I'll give you free shirts or something.

finally got weed on sunday, thank fucking god!

hey beer, get the fuck out of my body, you are fattening and you make my farts twice as gnarly as they would normally be.

this dog almost ripped my fucking hands off like 20 times that night, I was spinning him around, like airborn style, with this little ass stick, he was just dangling from it spinning around really fast. I'm lucky I put my cock back in my pants.

peezer was getting her fade on at giles and anna's, it was anna's going away party (she's going to get her masters in NY) giles will still be here, so we're ok. hey pearl is that thing behind you called a guiteyboard or a keytar?

this is the only picture I got of anna and giles, and it's a picture of a picture, so, does that count?

friday = signs

2006-05-22T10:46:00.000-07:00

the signs were all around me from the moment I left work on friday....

we're going to pechanga!

peezer.

it's so awesome, in my porsche 9-11, they built this neat little coke holder, I'll totally never spill again!

road bumps?

ferdi was all "man I wish skot was here so we could fucking practice already"

he wished a little too hard, because not only did skot appear out of thin air, but he accidently wished greg and carla there as well, greg was cool with it, but carla was kinda bugged out...

you fuckin' pisser, you and your fuckin' pee, all pooping and shitting and pissing, it's fucking disgusting, you shouldn't be dancing your way out of the stall, stop it!!!

theo is the only bouncer in LA that will buy you drinks (but only if you are me or pearl, so don't even ask)

manny fucking LOVES big bright flashes going off in bars, fucking loves em.. this is like the 12th picture I took of him in like a 3 minute period, look how happy he got!

"dude, your new guitar player is the fucking best, all the girls like him, and, I mean, look at his hair, the guy, I mean, he's just
so rad!......."
etc....

this guy played, I think his band is called "Boring" or something like that, that's what someone said, I dunno, I'm no expert.

then the "demolition doll rods" played, so naturally......

we fucking split! I guess the deal here is sinden and billy stole redd foxx's truck or some shit...

the next party was cool because there was all kinds of "fun" there (the other spot was fresh out) things got fruitay!

jimi played, I was dancing around like an idiot, people thought it was "not-awesome" probably because of all the beer I spilled on them.

tim and I tried to do that thing from scanners, but it didn't work (probably tim's fault)

I beat the shit outa chicks that night!

a fool and his money are soon partying!

in an act of rage jimi ate my camera, don't worry, I fished it out of his poop.

"hail satan, hail luci... whu?" sharif looks on!

billy died "again" so we buried him in one of those fiberglass coffins like stalin , he looked very peaceful

the night ended with... yep... more signs... LEAVE ME ALONE! AAAAGH

david yow

2006-05-19T17:52:00.000-07:00

takes a bottle to the face, gets knocked out, wakes up, talks shit, then rocks shit....

shit.....

there's a few of these things online

2006-05-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

I keep telling people "look, I'm not an actor"...

but they keep foolishly casting me.

uh.....

2006-05-19T17:07:00.000-07:00

so this shitty site has an interview with this douche

average homeboy

you know this dude, he did those shitty videos....

yuck

this dude just filmed us in san francisco

2006-05-19T16:32:00.000-07:00

evil dead witch going berzerkles

jan terri fucking slays

2006-05-19T16:29:00.000-07:00

vice kills texas

2006-05-19T16:11:00.000-07:00

VICE had CRÖM play their texas party this year, we had a good time, will shit the bed (no joke) at some house that vice rented, too classy...

I was being faggy with everyone on this trip

trevor and sean were in the dirt lot with us for hours, this is them "representing"

we met up with rip taylor, and that dude from diamond nites (sp?) those diamond guys are actually a lot cooler than I had expected, just look at will, he agrees. this is like hour 19 in the dirt lot, and everyone was holding dazzle dust, can you tell?

too much dazzle dust, can you tell? good old john, lookin' real sexy (note: there's blood on his tummy)

thanx vice, you guys are sweethearts, here's our release waiver.

lunch in zombie town

2006-05-19T15:14:00.001-07:00

get ready for some boring!

the bar behind the smell "the jalisco inn" got a new neon paint job (complete with cascading rainbow), it's a tranny bar that lets you order beer-to-go in lil' brown bags, perfect if u are at a show, or an art thing nearby. watch out though, that bathroom is a doozy.

I told this kid that I liked his weird spaceman glasses and he said "it's a headband" kids fucking suck.

I took this guys picture and he let out a big long "shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."

saw lots of zombies

jackson showed up
bye

People That Smoke Meth In Vegas

2006-05-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

generally rule

keanu

2006-05-19T12:17:00.001-07:00

figured I'd start us off with something romantic