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tour party, photo's and such

thanks to this blogger page's hourlong picture upload waiting period, and the fact that it places shit in a weird willy nilly order, I have loathed even coming back on this thing, but seeing as how I'm going on tour in about a month, if I don't do this tour posting before I leave, well, then I'm just an ass. the pictures have been uploaded for quitye some time, but when they were done, I didn't have the energy to write anything, it's now about 3 months later, and I'm ready, kinda...

ferdinand in missoula MT, this was like day 3 of the tour, and already skot had backed the van into a tree, thus breaking the back door... what that means for you? every time you load gear, it has to be done through the side door, and you have to remove a captains chair. (even when you are loading into a basement in montana that is nothing degrees, and you are playing to 10 uninterested vegan fart machines)
aaaaaah the gay nineties, montana got real fun once the party crashers showed up, total drunk losers! they took me to weird liquor store casinos, and of course, back in time to the "way-gay" nineties!
as we were getting our way-too-fucking-drunk on, this chick left our bonfire and said, "welp. I'm off to bed, if you need anything, come get me" and she scurried up this tree. (keep in mind, it was still not a damn thind degrees outside)
fire sword
these kids pretty much were running this mcdonalds in wyoming, it was rad, it looked like they had been hanging out all day getting free soda refills, I don't think they'd ever seen a philipino before, they were real quiet while ferdi ate.
this is kelly from denver, she's a massage therapist and she wears a fox tail out of the ass of her pants, she wasn't scared of the brown oriental.
when we got to denver it was their first snowfall of the year, people didn't seem to mind, in los angeles if it is sprinkly or moist outside people drive like there are bricks falling from the sky. I had a snowball fight with everyone, people weren't stoked.
I tried to steal a disco ball, thanks booze!
this club was called benders, which was ironic because...
dude, fucking snow for days, this night in perticular was so fucking frightening, we drove through this shit in the middle of the night and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse, we ended up driving super slow because we couldn't see 4 feet in front of the car, meanwhile big rigs are flying by at like 80 mph, it was rad to catch up with them once they crashed, must be nice to be S.O.L. in the blistering cold, hahahaha tweakers!
these are in every state in the US, I never found out what they were, nor do I care, they yare just fucking everywhere
this should be our new uniform
good eatin'!
kansas city was awesome, I was so fucking hammered. people kept leaving their cellphones on the bars/tables, so I would pick em up and look for interesting names in the ol contacts list and just call em up and ask them how they were doing, and if they wanted to "make a party", it all came right back to me like 2 hours later at an actual party when people started calling back asking what the fuck was going on. for some reason people instantly knew it was my drunk ass.
back to denver? these things uploaded all fucky... as soon as I walked in to this party, I ripped my jacket off and swung it around, knocking like 5 full beers to the floor. I had lots of accidents at this one.
look at the ass on this guy! ohio has some of the foxiest lil' people I have ever seen!
now we're in minnesota? I now remember what made me stop updating this shit, fucking thing messes up the order of all my pictures. fuck you blogspot... any-crap, this is shannon and I practicing for our new band SHIT STAINED GLASS.
on our way to lansing michigan, fuck you ron.
hahaha, kansas city again, I got yelled at for doing coke off of this ridiculous picture, this girl came out of her room, "what are you doing, that's my son!" hahahahaha, woops!
oh hey, look who's back in minnesota, shannon and his ol' lady, she made us the most amazing grilled cheeses we've ever seen, it was incredible! good peeps man!
this is us playing in chicago.. just kidding, this is actually us taking forever to load out. we played with a band from athens georgia that night called Cinemechanica, they were fucking unbelievable.
gummo!
this was inside a taco bell in nebraska.
this is lotto ball, he was in festival of dead deer, or boyscouts of annihilation or something, he was really cool and made us an amazing dinner. his band wasn't too shabby either.
ferdi and skot got into a blowout, then in the morning skot discovered this kitty hanging out on ferdi's ass and he got all misty, he said "awww, animals love that stinky guy"
hey, lansing michigan! this town goes richter!
after our show (still in lansing) this dude at the club was like "come party at my pad, we have loads of booze and room and whatever" when I entered the house I saw, 1 stand up galaga machine (pictured) 1 stand up tempest, 1 sit down miss pac man, 1 ez touch trivia machine (the ones they have at bars) in the kitchen, a practice room the size of 6 of our lockout studio, a pipe organ, piles and piles of endless coke, a stormtrooper mask, and of course "loads of booze". this is me gacked out of my head playing galaga as a stormtrooper, apparently I was at this for several hours.
columbus ohio, we played with wolf eyes and john weisse, it was rad, wolf eyes were total rockstars even though they play suitcases and kinda yell every once in a while,.. total dicks, the greatest part is it's kinda like a home town show for them and nobody stuck around to see em, yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeah guys, just because you were in spin 2wice, doesn't mean that this shit will last forever, your fans are already over you. john is always a sweetie though, and his set was amazing, some hick girl told me "well garsh, this dude sounds like an airport in my head" oooooooooooooooooooohhhhhkaye.
how badly do you want to paint over that "L"?
wolf eyes, rocking their suitcases! this is the 20 or so people that stayed
dave was in rochester NY, although he acted like he didn't know me... serious dave, what thee fuck?
pittsburg, fuckin' hell, what an awesome awesome awesome place to play, or live, or whatever, these guys played without their singer (tortured junkie artsy pussy boy guy, nobody understands him) so people in the audience dressed up as the singer and did impressions of him, hahaha funny stuff, until the last song when the actual singer walked in (real cool buddy) the band and the fans jumped him, chick on guitar on the right fucking FLEW at him, smashing him in the head with her guitar, it was fucking amazing, pittsburg doesn't have time to put up with your selfish "I'm a junkie" act. at this same show, we saw a random pittsburg hoser dude, pull out his weenie (only to have it smacked by this singer chick from the other band) and spread his ass, exposing his shitwebs and b-hole. party.
awful house
back to rochester, this is brian posehn's new band, they were called "we-like-pentagram"
hey, back to lansing, seriously FUCK YOU BLOGGER SPOT! van halen mirror though, pretty fucking classy, eh?
new york, LES, alex lobot, PK ripper, and some chick he's putting his fingers inside of.
ramapo NY, there are frightening stories about this place, stories much akin to the one in "the hills have eyes". supposedly, the ramapo mountain people, or the ramapo indians, don't care much for city folk, so the inbreeding is on some fangoria level.. the common attributes shared by the ramapo people are: tiny heads, greyed skin, and webbed fingers! nobody on the trip knew the story but me, so I just stayed in the car while we were driving through, I got out to take this picture though, I needed proof. but yeah, you stay away from them mountain folk, y'here? I was terrified.
did he really say this shit?
this is what ferdi looks like after you throw a yellow pages at him for snoring and grinding his teeth (he still hasn't registered what happened)
back to NY, we played at this club Midway, with unsane, and that dude from the swans, and some dudes from the heroin sheiks/cows this is bleauxdog (thobey) agent mule (trace) and blackout man (john) 3 of my favorite people on earth, we made a good party that night!
during our set (totally packed and awesome, btw) I saw my lil buddy dash pop up in the crowd, I stopped playing and hugged him, much to the chagrin of my bandmates, dash is an old friend, and I couldn't help it, color me fruity!
HAHAHAHAHA baltimore MD, dude, dude was serious, not joking, look at the tights, look at the sandals!
these are real, and I was high as a kite! our buddy in MD's house is fucking filled with weapons and nazi paraphenelia, and books about death.. it's a great place to get fucked up..(?)
back to new york (we actually went back, not bloggers fault) and yeah, this is cheryl wearing ferdi's terrible hat. he wore that fucker the whole tour, sickening, I kept trying to get people to steal it, but it always ended up right back on his head.
so yeah, I'm sure you all heard this story...
this is in massachusets or some shit, like 6 days until halloween, great costume, but dude, hold on, it's coming, 6 days, don't worry, it will come.
hotlanta, GA, these dudes were out of fucking hand! it was like hanging out with doomsday 1999 all over again, I forget the name of their band, but they were super great... but again, the halloween thing, not talking about these guys, they just wear dresses because they are maniacs, but at the show, they had a special "alien/zombie make up booth" and all these people were in shitty devil, and fairy costumes, it was fucking gross.
austin texas, there's our man stockbauer in the background, and my buddy jamie in the front, and of course, captain cute!
houston texas, drugs kill.
this FULL GROWN MAN was kicking it in louisiana, pounding a tall-boy of bud light, and spittin' and a-hollerin', I almost fell over laughing, dude was some hard cheese!
uh oh, new orleans, this is the morning after halloween, in the french quarter at this place cafe dumont (or something, I don't care) yeah, the morning after we were still fucking thrashed, so I started doing massive rails of powdered sugar at the table, a few x marks the spots here and there, the rest of the people dining went from horrified, to hysterical, but I was the one with the candy drips all the way to the next show.
halloweed brah! ferdi in his rape hat costume.. fucking ferdi.
hahaha austin TX, with sean p, and princess powder, "things are getting scientific, I love the laboratory, stem bender boyss" -Jim Stockbauer.
fucking creeps, LBI, keeping it real wrong
in san antonio, we showed up at a club that had 4 stages, so I go "where the hell do we load?" they say, "well, you guys are in the main room, it's a local band, you guys, then my life with the thrill kill cult" excuse me? those guys are still around? apparently they are, and they used my bass rig. a note about these dudes, if I could... they lipsynch everthing, and every song has the terms "69", someting about sex, somthing about snakes, or scales, and of course their own band name over and over and over...
shirts off boyss!
stockbauer really loved our tray table! thanks man!
MLWTTTK fan, numero uno! homeboy shook this thing during their whole boring set, is he having a boring off with the band?
woah, this was "our guy" in san antonio, he was the one that got us all the fake-awake.
breakfast was served
this dude, oh man, mike is his name, MVP for the my life with the thrill kill cult show, he was all about groping the most disgusting couples there, and yelling "play that song from the crow!" dude pulled me out into the center of the crowd more than once, and bought me like 7,000,000 jager bombs (?) fucking party, fuck the captain!
an average my life with the thrill kill cult fan, disgusting,... I don't know, if I was in that band I'd kill myself, I've only typed their name iike 4 times and I am totally exhausted, fuck!
big time.
san antonian poo
look at that graffiti! fucking gorgeous!
emos, playing, blablabla.
another healthy meal
stocky and I after our show, and before HEAPS of mayhem.
"ladel and straw boyss!" - jim stockbauer
hey matt, thanks for the 19 whiskey shots during our set, I almost fell off the stage so many times!
paisley, you have something on yr... hold on, "snork, snooooooort" mmmm, aaah, umm yeah, paisley, lemme tak yr picture, woohoo!
there she is, skotty mah boy!
shelly on paisley, after we got DAS BOOT from some party in austin, and it wasn't even me this time! actually it was nobody, stockbauer's reputation is just so crazy that the people that lived their asked us "who the fuck brought him here?" and we were like "us, that guy rules" and the dude was like "ok man, listen, I don't want any fucking bubble bath situations happening this time, I swear to god!" huh? we found out what that meant much later in the evening, I'm bummed we didn't take it there. we made our own fun at shelly's though.
in lubbock, I was totally fucked and freezing trying to sleep on the floor, I woke up like "fuck this" and went to do my bathroom trick*, but when I opened the bathroom door, this dude was already there, in my place, asleep... fucker
*Bathroom Trick: when you are staying in a town that is devoid of a tempurature, a good thing to do is crash in the bathroom, they have towels(blankets) and towels(pillows) and a heater (the shower running all night) if there is no lock, jam the toe of yr shoe under the door. AWESOME!
captain paisley, of the kids table.
at shelly's house, enjoying smoothies, and veggie wraps (after a lil' yoga)
kriss kross will make ya DRUNK DRUNK!
rachel and her photo face, a deer with a tophat, and paisley, in lubbbbbock
this guy, fuck this guy, dude got this tattoo of 666 on his ass from a girl on pcp, and he also has the word "broken" burned across his side and stomach. last tour when we went with qui he slashed their tires because one of em made a kissy kiss with some dude's EX girlfriend who was lurking around at the after party... dude, if a girl dumps you, don't go to her parties and watch her get with dudes, then get mad at the dudes, they didn't know they were getting into some backwoods maury povich shit, they were just being friendly, and when you have your little hobo friend slash their tires, uh, that spells puhssay!
captain spacefood, riding the snake, in space, under ground, in flagstaff.
fuck you
ME TOO!
here's the 666 kid setting skot's shoe on fire.
hahahahaha, homeboy got dickfaced, best part was he was asleep in the main room of the party, everyone got to play, dude was like fucking comatose!
this is the hundreds guy's studio, we partied our fannies off here, those dudes are fucking sweet like tiger meat!
a shower is a shower, like 3 dudes live here, and dudes are fucking slobs, the house is so fucked up, but the computers, amps, and studio are immaculate, (sounds familiar) priorities boyss! this shower, as gross as it looks, was actually the best one this whole tour, water pressure was tits, and the heat was perfect!
here he is again, our hero, partying in vegas! we tried desperately to get him to come out and play with us, but he was actually this fucking tired... FROM EATING! war is hell, kids.
here is me and ferdi, still in vegas, still givin' er, at like 7 am or some bullshit. Dino's bar, man, place is fucking spooky at that hour.
the hotel we decided to stay at, fucking shit right? when the dude gave me the key, I went to the room, fucking blood all over the matress, broken bottles in the shower, clothes covered in what looked like feces, and 2 crack pipes on the table,.. must have been an awesome party. the dude gave us another room, it was right by this 24 hour episode of cops. I love that I was born here, and I also love that of the whole tour, this was like 1 of the 2 hotels we got, the rest was all couches and awesomeness!
like bargains?
I was already feeling pukey when ferdi decided he needed fried rice, so we went to this donut shop. it was great, millions of flies, who's who in mental health staring at you with open runny sores all over their bodies, and 12 year old fat white trash girls wearing stripper clothes. I couldn't even hold down my pepsi, this drawing helped put things in perspective though, that was cool.
BAKERSFIELD! cocaine jamroom, what the fuck gentlemen?
after hanging out with this dude for HOURS, bro-ing up, and all that ra-ra, fucking dude goes "were you in snake vs wizard?" I was like, "yeah, why?" and he's like "DUDE, you gave me a cat once, it's me, taraq, from SD" I almost shit myself, there I was thinking "this dude is pretty cool, funny guy, awesome peeps" turns out I not only knew him, but he stayed at my old place several times, and I gave him my old cat... weird.
finally in SD, tour over (almost) jorma came along, we all boned, whatever.
back in los angeles, thanks neighbors, we love you too...

armageddon weddin'

ryan and olivia tied the knot a while back, I actually cried because I'm a big soft cupcake. congrats you crazy kids!
this is a picture of their first dance as a married couple. kinda rules, right?
pearl loves to drink, there was so much fucking wine that.... actually I shouldn't tell that one. but yeah, she's wearing my swim trunks for some odd reason.
things got sexier as the weekend progressed, everyone says seattle is a drag and the weather makes people kill themselves... it makes us people from the south all horned up, that's just how we roar boyss!
this girl and I pretended we were ships captains because the tide was rapidly rising where we sat, splashing and crashing about rather wildly. what was really happening was we were drinking heavily and goofing off, whilst the rocks made my clothes super fucked up.
everyone was complaining that the pot brownies weren't working, and that we should eat more (this is a common thing when you eat pot) so we did, then things basically turned from post wedding bliss, to methadone clinic real fast.
yeah, they aren't working bro, maybe we should make another batch.
pearl and I on the ferry back to seattle proper, (we were on some seattle island thingies that weren't very grunge) it was exciting to get to visit miguel!
look at jason with his camera looking all japanese, awwwwww!
we met this giant dog on the streets of downtown seattle, he had gigantic balls that swung crazily as he trotted down the sidewalk. it was hypnotizing to say the very least
we spent a very long time in this surplus store due to our mind crushing hangovers. that's the weird thing, most people talk of hangovers incapacitating you, with me and my friends it just makes us insane, we just wander around making jokes to ourselves, laughing to ourselves, touching things. it definitely scared the local clientelle (we cleared the place kinda)
hay buddy!
peezer and I met with migzy the masher (left) and he took us to this crazy bar that has like 5,000,000 different beers, we were just hanging out talking when olivias brother (pink shirt) sits next to us all "whu? you gu?" so that called for a celebration, we drank and drank and drank and drank and drank and drank,.. oh, and at some point we discussed the wedding, then we drank more.
then he took us to a friends house, dude had a fuckload of weed and smoked us out, after that I paroused his dvd collection. he had fucking Dr. Giggles AND Shocker just to give you an idea of what we were dealing with.
miguel had a great idea, after we left the weeeeed house we were planning on meeting up with my buddies travis and brandon from doomsday 1999 (R.I.P.) so as we were walking by a goodwill, miguel says "hey we need some kind of costume for this mission, to act as armour for our adventure" and arm ourselves we certainly did.
there's miguel's armour, pearls class 5 armour, and travis n brandon, and brandon's ol lady. (I always forget her name, but damn, one time when crom toured with doomsday, we spent all night trying to "make a party" phil had a bunch of coke, and we had a ton of beers, so we went to this hotel room that brandon's ol lady was staying in, and it was like me, dre, phil, brandon, his ol lady, and one of their seattle friends, some chick,.. anyways, phil and I broke into the coke and were just ramping up like madmen, occasionaly giving this weird seattle girl some, and we were loud as hell, laughing, telling stories, the chick was quiet as fuck, when out of nowhere, brandons ol lady woke up and said to the girl "hey, don't you live around here? you do right? well you can't stay here with us, yeah, that means LEAVE NOW,GO! LEAVE GO HOME" phil and I just looked at eachother silently thinking "holy SHIT" and phil says "d-d-do you want another line for the road?" and she says "no FUCKIT I'M COOL" and we sat in awkward silence for quite a while. then we whispered about it all night while we did an eightball between the 2 of us, then as soon as it was all done, phil crashed like the challenger and began snoring, with me as awake as I have ever been in my lilfe, sitting up by myself for hours going "fuck fuck fuck" until I retired to the shower to sleep)
graffiti in a seattle bathroom, I was impressed
public art on a seattle street, not very impressed
we went to dicks burgers (listen to "my posse's on broadway" by sir mixalot) and we saw this really sad car.. imagine driving this shit?
miguel and peal eating dicks
I ran into vince at some bar, when I walked in a bunch of patrons screamed "can we please party??" at me, NICE!
miguel was fading fast, he ate too much real food, I myself only eat space food so I can hang in any situation.
this dude poured so many shots down my puss that I could barely stand up, I think he's trying to help. (notice my armour? yeah, it was a crop top)
vince got a swans tattoo, my photo doesn't do it justice cos damn it looked nice!
miguel barely able to walk, fireworks all ablaze on his beautiful arms and chest.
kai has a bistro there, who knew?
I forget what his name is, but I was holding on to him every second we drove anywhere. this was our trip to the airport, bye bye seattle, home of grunge!
these are everywhere in the seattle airport, what the fuck?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, that feels good!
this feels even better, welcome to los angeles, faggots!
the same day I got home we had to play a show at the roxy for the bronx CD release party, look at their regular dates! this place is fucking garbage!
we packed the place, all of my jugend friends showed up!
dash showed up too, here he's trying to show me the bruise that the shotgun left on him (we went shooting clay pidgeons the day before)
the bronx played, matt was going berzerk, it was fun!
NICE!
a friend of mine showed me his new dick trick, I put a dog on his face so you can't tell who he is.
ferdi dash and pearl, that's a good party
by this time we were fucking high as a georgia pine.
ferdi and I scored beeeeers and headed to dash's house for a lil dose of some morning sun
rise and shine dickface!

"what do you write fool?"
"well, I write ryan, that's my name sir"
byebye
§

kxlu fundrazor and gay mixer

jorma eating again, I swear, all this dude ever does is eat fuucking jack in the box, he claims he doesn't but I have an overwhelming amount of proof, are you hearing me drummer boy?
it was tom's birthday, he turned this many (I guess that's 8, or double vulcan something or other) check out the birthday glasses!
scott was doing sound at the echo, I took a terrible picture of him, he's much prettier than my camera says he is, serious.
I started kissing everyone, well not everyone, just the boyss. jackson got it first
this 10 year old was cool enough to make his own Spazz shirt, how the hell has he heard of Spazz? I'm guessing I know his older brother or something.
frankel got the next one, although I don't look very into it, I think it's because frankel is a slut, sooooo... yeah, it meant nothing to him I suppose.
mika miko played, this room made them sound like they were playing vacuum cleaners instead of guitars (which I like)
this guy in the paisley recieved so much verbal abuse from me about his stupid shirt that he actually took it off and gave it to me, I wore it for the rest of the night. I gotta say, it's a tough one to pull off.
this adorable dandy was there, he plays iin that one band with....
this guy! I'm kidding, but I know what you're thinking. like big takeovers?
I bought 2 of these disgusting things because, well, I'm a health nut. I promptly vomited them all over my shoes (and a dollar that the captain made me barf on. why? I don't know, I was busy throwing up)
skot and that guy from los cincos that paints skate art style pictures, hey dude, you aren't in a band anymore, come back to earth, you aren't that important dude. (he was very rude btw)

and last, but certainly not least, earl parker! this dude is completely insane, rule #1 never give this guy your phone number, it's a bummer. ok, I'm gunna make something to eat.

lo doyers with the fuckups

pearl called the fuckups and they had a couple extra dodger tickets so we said "fuck it" and met em at the illegal beagle, that place is quite a breakdown (p.s. this is most likely the most boring entry to date, but I was just given access to this page again, so.... I mean, the 7 entries I'm uploading at the moment are so super fucked up and packed with fun sauce that you won't even mind this shitty entry of stupid filler, I'm just trying to put something here for the people that check this page, all of you that keep telling me "update already" this is for you I guess, I'll explain the debacle about not having access to this page when I have absolutely nothing left to talk about, which isn't ever probably gunna happen...)

this has to be the most amazing sticker I have ever seen in my entire life, I think about it almost once a day...

this is a collage that someone made of all of the fuckups partying and what-not, if you look hard enough you will find us all, darby imamura, pearl, fill vera, sage, me, meza, etc.... but the best is fill and frodo. I guess while fill was on tour with 16, elijah wood saw em and started following them around the east coast or something. from what everyone says, that guy is totally awesome and fun.

here they are together all buddy buddy and shit, oh, and there's darby on the bottom right smoking a bowl.
here's the infamous Mr. T room at the beagle, pretty intense collection!
here's sage (a.k.a. fuckhead jones, a.k.a. timmy moron,a.k.a. chicken boy,a.k.a. the mayor,a.k.a. the bro-fessor, etc.) in his samurai wig.
this post is super old because "los doyers" lost by a LOT!! it's weird, I guess they are kicking ass again(?)...whatever, I just like the stadium, even though the trough is gone and beers come in rubber bottles and cost like 100 dollars.
andre gets really into eating, that's his kid isiah on the top right, and even further to the right is mike meza's brother chris. chris had just been released from prison for murder (he was in for like 14 years or something), so he was a little intense, when we saw these old cholos in our seats we said "ok, we'll find other ones" which is standard practice at a game, but chris wasn't having it so he threatened to beat up an entire family of gangsters, THEN, these people bought him drinks because he is so terrifying. he's back in prison on some terrorism charge.
this guy looked just like an ugnaught from empire strikes back, I have about 15 of these.
this is the back of skot's head, he's the best dude ever.
nightmare was there, so was mattie murphy. mattie is the DJ at the strip club cheetahs, he used to work at the mitchell brothers O'farrel Theater and hung out with shitheads like hunter s thompson (whom he busted for videotaping strippers, apparently HST said he was doing "research".... yeah guy)
sherrif meza was trying to show me a little brain.
isiah was playing guns or something, that's me holdin a picture of him from a few years ago
this is kasmir trying to make the face he is making in this baby picture. he really doesn't have to try very hard, he looks exactly the same still.
I was playing with this cane-sword and eventually broke it. I suck.
then sage pulled out his ridiculous brass knuckles, who uses these for anything?
peezy-p was eating avacado with a knife,
nightmare reading shame book
meza and cynthia on the car couch, if you are a REAL shithead, this is the thing you wake up on after a night of partying. the illegal beagle is truly a house of sloth, or as phil calls it "never-again land"
countdown to throwing up everywhere......

pow every tuesday

random post, no order, no real theme to speak of, sorry dude...

this picture isn't from the same batch as the rest, I just didn't want that juiceboxxx douchebag to have the first pictures in this entry, it would just be wrong,.... so I decided to start on a much more positive note, this was on my driveway when we were leaving to go somewhere (but I forget where because like I said, it's not from this batch) now I should repeat this paragraph 12 times, or wait, why don't you do it, I'm trying to eat.

ok, so here he is, the story is, james and I were given tuesday nights at this new club called la cita, it's awesome but nobody has been there yet because it used to be a ranchero bar, yadda ya, anyhow, before anyone knew we had this shit going on, this dude email's me, telling me "hey, I got this killer act that you gotta try at your club on tuesday, he'll do a 15 minute set, it's like electro/hip hop, it's amazing" well, we not giving a fuck led him to have his "ACT" muscle in a set, (btw, dude has an MTV email address.... what the fuck?) so he did his thing and what can I say, the manager dude??? he was wrong! he failed to mention it was a really pathetic har mar rip-off that was about 1 third "video blog", 1 third "whiteboy puberty angst", and 1 third "my father touched my butthole"... I mean seriously, what do you do when.....
the only people that find your act interesting are the same people that made you what you are? this dude wanted to put this 17 year old hairless boy in his mouth soooooooo bad, everyone could see it... it was creeeeeeeeeeeepy!
uh.... what? relax, the place is still a mexican coke disco in the early afternoon (which is about the time all of it's patrons are falling down on the sidewalk on the way home to their families that they hate) so yeah, it'll be here, no need to write on stuff.
longmont played a set and I was trapped into doing sound and was literally trapped on stage with no way to get out, so I hid behind the turntables and took videos and pictures... david yow apparently smacked him on the forehead like an hour later for saying that "van halen 1 is really slow if you think about it" oh, and he also called him a retard and avoided him all night.
bill h and bill p, both of them "hairs" are living with eachother, making really bad party decisions. billy (on the right) has been MIA ever since he walked into the LA river in the middle of the night just to make us laugh.. but laugh we certainly did, especially when he realized that his brand new cell phone was still in his pocket. I guess he had some nasty cut on his toe, and when the stagnant LA river water hit it, he got some gnarly infection that smells like a babies coffin so... I hope he's ok. oh, and I hope pearl and I laughing was worth all that trouble.
this is my son "prince" he's a freak that has no real cat characteristics other than he's afraid of most everything. oh, he speaks hebrew, did I mention that?
this is the studio where the crom album has been held prisoner for months, when the opportunity to finish it and get the files back arose, I rushed down there, expired tags, no gas and all. the sign was right, I was there, but even when people showed up, I was still the only one "there" if you catch my meaning...
the engineer got their about 45 minutes late, and it was about 5 million degrees outside, the 12 pack I brought for us was getting warm fast, so I set up my camera on auto timer and took this picture, "I am here" y'see, the worst part is after I was "there" for almost an hour, the engineer shows up and discovers that he only has a back door key that doesn't work, so after pacing and saying "fuck" a bunch of times, he called a locksmith and we got in, this part of the story took another hour. don't be jealous, that's just how I roar!
the cool thing is that we recorded everything on frank black's gear so it sounds fantastic, but my attitude was so bad at this point that I was putting beers wherever all "willy nilly" the story get's a lot worse, but I don't wan't to talk shit about anyone (just ask me at a bar or something)
here's some other guy, unrelated to my bitch-craft, he was mixing shit with me, I kept taking over and doing hotkeys for things I wanted him to do, he didn't understand and was a little upset at my bossy ways, but I just wanted to get the fuck outa there.
more piles of gear worth millions of dollars, it's disgusting actually.
this is cool, it's a plate reverb, a real metal plate that is bussed from the mixing board.
this is the only control on it, a knob that puts the plate closer or farther away, so as to adjust the decay (i'm a fucking nerd)
a moog liberation, I'm sure they use the shit out of this thing with the kelly clarkson and DC talk shit they work on there (not kidding, that's their bread and butter dude, overproduced music for christian teenage girls that cannot appreciate the gear-headliness that went in to the recording, that live in ohimahamabraska)
this is james brown, he is wearing a grammy nomination around his neck, I took several pictures of me with my dick in his mouth, now I "feel good"!
the next day we went to a friends birthday party, it was like 400 billion degrees outside, so I kicked it in the corner by all these trophies and made myself about 90 vodka drinks
the birthday girl got kissed into the pool, I hope her dress wasn't ruined, it's a really nice one.
I put my hat on her cat, this cat, I swear, he has the best disposition of any cat I've ever seen, I wanted to steal him so he could come over and teach my cat how to fucking get over himself.
then I won an emmy for being the most drunk man on earth, this is between a smile and an owwy face, the wing on this thing cut my lip because I was hurrying to take the picture so nobody saw. playing with these awards was a real "no-no" from what I was told, so, instant karma I suppose.
at kevin's house he has all of those posters from jabberjaw and elsewhere that you always wanted when you went to shows, he has litterally all of them, it sucks.
then I met this dog, he just ran in the back yard without any warning, no owners behind him, he was really fun. I hate it when I shave all of the shitty growth off of my face, it makes my face look like it has AIDS or something, right?
I was on ecstacy and a whole bunch of other shit that I won't get into, but yeah, these flowers were grossing me out, so I went in the house to see what kevin and toni were up to.
pearl toni and clementine, getting all pretty an shit.
this dude was in the movie suburbia, he was (and still is) the guy with the fake leg, remember his line about agent orange in that movie? he is a really nice guy, but he doesn't get fucked up so he left our lil' party with a quickness
more at that recording studio, seriously, frank black's gear, a high end recording studio,sounds great right??? but when you look around at shit you see things of this nature, seriously, click on this picture and read the trophy, eeeeeeeeeew!
this is just the songlist for the album we are wrapping up, it's this plus samples over samples with other samples bleeding through and fading out between EVERY fucking song, there's a reason this record is taking so long, trust me though, it's worth it, I swear.
this is "joe" recording phil, he was doing vocals for "battle axe butt cherry" see? funny already, right?
this is why I don't have a job at a recording studio, you have to know how to work these thingies, these things are a lame way to cover up a shitty performance, but everyone uses em so, y'know...
more bummer shit at the studio, this is probably the worst painting I have ever seen in my life, seriously dude, letterbox? widescreen? what are you trying to say? you like japanese movies about birds?
this was from the 4th, pearl will force me to go to any party that has a pool, this is an infinity pool, I never went in.
then we wen't to miguel's going away fiesta, we watched sage do his anual "luge of death" look for it on youtube, search sage jones 4th of july street luge.... pearl wore her "drug rug" bye miguel!
I took this picture with a blinding hangover, I didn't know it was this good. album cover material much?
this is the view from my studio downtown.
this is the 2nd la cita night, I took mushrooms by myself and freaked the fuck out so bad that I had to hide behind the turntables and change records like a was a midget because I didn't want anyone to look at me (not like anyone was there, like promoting?)
then we left and went to ryans, where I grabbed his guns and did a photoshoot with em.
when the bread grew a face I knew it was time to leave, I thought it was just the mushrooms but you can see it too right? fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! why does ryan have bread in a cup exposed to air? anyways....

made a preview for our dvd thingy